Today, I’ve been invited over for chat (and cookies!) with Jez and co. Wish me luck…
EN: Thanks for inviting me over, I think. Casa del Gato, huh? Interesting name. I like what you’ve done with— Wait, is that the kama sutra in the moulding?
Sin: It adds a certain something, no?
EN: I can’t argue with that.
Sin: Jez is out on the terrace, but I’ll warn you now, she’s been in a foul mood since we came back from Virginia.
EN: Guess I can’t blame her for that—digging over the worst parts of the past has to be hard on anyone.
Sin: She hates being wrong.
Marcel: OMG! You’re so British! Do you want a cookie?
EN: You mean a biscuit?
Marcel: *looks puzzled* I guess I could make some… Biscuits and fried chicken?
EN: Relax, I’m joking. American biscuits are basically scones, and those definitely don’t go with fried chicken.
Marcel: They go with whipped cream and jam, right?
EN: Nuh-uh, they go with jam and whipped cream.
Marcel: Isn’t that what I said?
EN: No. But a cookie is fine, as long as they’re not the “special” ones. I’ve heard about those.
Marcel: Dusk ate all of them. Again. We have double chocolate chip, oatmeal and raisin, and white chocolate with raspberry.
EN: White chocolate with raspberry sounds good, and I’d love a coffee.
Marcel: Americano, cappuccino, latte, mocha, espresso, doppio, flat white, macchiato…?
EN: Just surprise me. Did Alexa make it over?
Sin: *snorts* Echo? She’s holed up at the vineyard, and she isn’t leaving any time soon. But she’ll join online.
EN: If I married a man who owned a vineyard, I don’t think I’d leave either. Is Pale here?”
Sin: He’s around, although it’s weird hearing him called Pale.
EN: Right, he’s Priest as well. Everyone in this place has at least two names. Astrid, Sin… Speaking of sin, how’s Maverick Johansen? I heard a rumour that you sneak over to his place whenever you have an itch that needs to be scratched?
Sin: *groans* Can we not talk about Mav?
EN: So it’s true, then?
Jez: *materialises behind Sin* Eleven times and counting. You should write a book about that. And while we’re talking about secret liaisons, try asking Tulsa about Romeo Serafini.
EN: Romeo? Is there a balcony involved?
Tulsa: *shouts from the next room* Do NOT mention that name.
Sin: If there was a balcony involved, she’d probably throw him off it.
Jez: After she fucked him twice.
*a knife whistles past and embeds itself in the wall*
Marcel: *screams* Stop doing that!
Tulsa: Then stop talking about Romeo Serafini.
Sin: Good thing he isn’t dating Levi’s lawyer, huh? Having the name Serafina Serafini on her bar card would be unfortunate.
EN: Dammit. How did I not notice that they’re practically the same bloody name?
Sin: Probably for the same reason you ended up with a Kayleigh and a Kaylin living in the same town.
EN: Please stop.
Sin: Do you ever get confused between Meyer and Masters?
EN: *cries*
Marcel: Why don’t we all go out to the terrace? You can relax in a weapons-free environment, and I’ll bring the cookies.
Jez: Sure, but the terrace is in no way a “weapons-free” environment.
Marcel: *sticks fingers in ears* La-la-la, I don’t want to know.
Outside, the sun is shining—unsurprisingly, since it’s Las Vegas—and a waterfall shimmers behind the cock-and-balls waterslide. Classy. Alexa’s avatar is on a screen on the table, and today, she’s reimagined herself as a chipmunk wearing a black hat. Uh-oh. Jez and Sin settle into chairs, and EN follows suit, but nervously.
EN: So, why did you ask me to come here today? You were light on details in the message.
Jez: Because people are watching, and we don’t know who they are yet.
EN: Do you mean the Levi thing?
Jez: Of course I mean the Levi thing. What else? Dammit, he’s been in prison for a decade, just…festering.
Sin: And now Jez has to deal with feelings of unrequited guilt.
EN: That…doesn’t entirely make sense?
Sin: You get the gist though, right?
Alexa: Firstly, Jez doesn’t feel guilt because she’s a psychopath. Secondly, we’re working on a revenge plan and we need you to help us.
EN: Uh, I shoot at targets, not people.
Alexa: But you and your dumbass pen, keyboard, whatever, are indirectly responsible for his predicament, so it’s your duty to assist.
EN: But how—
Jez: More assassins.
EN: What?
Jez: We’re going to need more assassins.
EN: Isn’t that your job?
Jez: Yes, but my gut tells me this is bigger than we ever imagined, plus we can’t trust anyone, so you need to come up with a plan. Think global.
EN: You don’t ask for much, do you?
Alexa: Can you do it or not?
EN: Fine, okay. Did you run this by Priest?
Sin: No, because he was busy.
EN: Busy doing what?
Jez: A bridesmaid from Wisconsin. Don’t worry, we stopped him from getting to the “I do” stage.
EN: Dare I ask how?
Sin: *coughs* Ketamine.
Jez: He’s a little sleepy, but don’t worry, he’ll thank us when he sobers up.
Marcel: *sets down a tray with mugs and coffee, then takes a seat* Did you tell her you duct-taped him to the bed?
EN: *groans*
Sin: He’s surprisingly determined when there’s another marriage certificate on the line.
EN: Did anyone ever get to the bottom of his ring obsession? Why does he do it?
Alexa: Because he’s an idiot who won’t get therapy.
EN: I guess he’s in good company, then.
Jez: *narrows eyes* Did you hear what I said about weapons earlier?
Marcel: No threatening our guests!
Sin: The woman he really wanted to marry got away, so now whenever he gets all melancholy, he tries to replace what he lost. Did you ever wonder why he always picks the dark-haired, exotic looking women?
EN: When you say lost…?
Sin: Rumour says she sacrificed herself to save him.
EN: Sheesh.
Jez: You’re going to have way too much fun with that information, aren’t you.
EN: *cunning smile* Maybe. But first, I need to find your extra assassins, so don’t hold your breath.
Marcel: She can hold her breath for six minutes.
EN: I’m not writing a book in six minutes. *looks past Jez and sees a familiar figure approaching* I thought you said you used duct tape?
Jez: Yes, a whole roll of— Fuck. Gotta go. Just deliver those damn assassins, okay?
Thanks for reading! If you’d like to ask the Choir anything, let me know and I’ll drop in for another visit…
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